She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
