i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Boobs are out for the taking
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
