it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
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