living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
