I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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