It's Friday. Sex?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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