My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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