What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
