i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Everclear isn't food dammit
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
