i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
