What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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