the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
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