who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
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I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
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Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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