so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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