I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
