my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
