More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
there is puke in my bra ... again
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