I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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