The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
