I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize