This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
