he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
