I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES