white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.