my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?