At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize