He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
