so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
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well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
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In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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