what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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