there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize