sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
