so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
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I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
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I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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