I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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