I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
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