Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
