Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
