yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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