That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
