Someone shit on the floor
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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