allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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