Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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