Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
