sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
