I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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