Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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