Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
