another moral hangover. fuck.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
