I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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