We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
