the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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