Swine flu is the new snow day.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Randomize