Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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