weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
