So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
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He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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