she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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