I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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