hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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