you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
