Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
