ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
