chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
i out mim tonsoeep
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