Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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