I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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